Why I call myself a whore

I recently invited readers to introduce themselves and share how they found my blog. Several said that the blog's provocative title was what first caught their attention. So I thought I'd share how I settled on the name.


It's a phrase from the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 14: 10 "Behold there are save two churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil; wherefore, whoso belongeth not to the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to that great church, which is the mother of abominations; and she is the whore of all the earth." 

LDS scholars have given various interpretations. Most agree that the "whore of all the earth" is equivalent to the "whore of Babylon" mentioned in the Bible. Bruce R. McConkie once gave his interpretation that the Church of the Devil was referring to the Catholic Church, though I think later recanted under pressure from the First Presidency (citation needed; I'm not 100% sure that's accurate, but I'm too lazy to look it up right now, and dammit, Jim, I'm a blogger, not a journalist).


By the way, I had a reader write to me and comment that the Church of the Devil sounds like the name of a theme park. Now what would that be like? I had some friends brainstorm with me and we decided that the main thoroughfare would be called Good Intentions Way. There would be rides like the Downward Spiral or a waterslide called Satan's Slippery Slope. There would be fonts filled with vodka instead of holy water. Another suggestion was a walk-through ride (like Sleeping Beauty's Castle at Disneyland) called the Stairway to Heaven, and at the top is a gift shop. Maybe it's an Adult gift shop? And it should definitely be located next to Orlando's Holy Land Experience. Call your travel agent today!


But anyway, how I settled on the phrase as the name for my blog goes back to an old journal. I took a creative writing course during the Fall of 2009, and for my non-fiction piece I decided to write about my journey out of Mormonism. (This became my de-conversion story The Rise and Fall of a Testimony; I got an A.  :-)  To recall and recreate the experiences that led up to me leaving the Church, I went back to my old journals. At the time I met my husband Ray, we were both faithful, believing Mormons and both planning on serving missions. (Also, both dating other people, but that's a different story.) We met in Provo, Utah, through some mutual friends, also members of the Church. One of these friends thought I was a Bad Influence on Ray, and that I was Satan's means of distracting him and stopping him from going on a mission.

Sunday, December 2. 2001

      Today was a good day. Church was good. C_____ taught the Relief Society lesson on Temple Worthiness and it really made me think. Unfortunately, I haven't spent much time at her house lately because that usually entails seeing N_____ who seems to think I'm the whore of all the earth since I started liking Ray. So I avoid him as much as possible.

Let me tell you a little about N______. He was the most self-righteous and uptight boy I've ever known. He would not go see Disney's G-rated The Princess Diaries because in one of the previews, the girl was wearing a strapless dress. He and Ray were roommates for a while and N______ would get up at 4:00 in the morning to pray and read scriptures, because the earlier you rise, the holier you are, or something. (Ray reports that an acquaintance once told him, "N____, I don't think even God gets up that early," to which he took great offense.) He, too, was preparing for a mission, also dating C_____'s 16-year-old daughter, but they never kissed or spent any time alone together to prevent sinning. N______ pegged me as Trouble, a stumbling block that would lead Ray astray. (In retrospect, it seems interesting that no one fretted on how Ray might be an evil influence on me. Women apparently are responsible for the morality of both sexes.)


Long story short, we did end up fornicating, which prevented each other from going on missions. We did lead each other out of the Church, first by force because of our "sin," then by choice after a brief return. (It's all in the de-con story.) And I have thanked Ray many times for leading me into a life of sin and coffee.


Oh, N______ married C______'s daughter within a few months of his return from his mission (they were "Promised" to each other) and they had a baby ten months later. If there is any kind of merciful God up there, He really dropped the ball on that one.

Why I call myself a whore

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