Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ah, those pesky technicalities.

I'm putting the finishing touches on a talk I'll be presenting this Tuesday on Mormonism for NDSU's Science, Religion and Lunch seminar series and came across the most hilarious quote while trying to pin down the date of when the Melchizedek priesthood was restored. This is the account of what happened when Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery received the Aaronic priesthood, from fairmormon.org, a Mormon apologetic site:
Joseph and Oliver Cowdery were told to re-ordain each other to the priesthood after being baptized. This was to follow proper rules of being a member before receiving the priesthood, but in their case they couldn't become members until having the priesthood to baptize each other.

It just reminds me of kids passing cooties to each other. "That's your priesthood!" "No, it's yours!" "Hey, no touch-backs!" It's also a sticky chicken-or-the-egg conundrum. They can't receive the priesthood without being baptized, but they can't be baptized without the priesthood. So they ordain each other, baptize each other, and then re-ordain each other, and then it's all good! God is so mysterious!

Anyway, for any of you locals who want to come hear my speak, it's this Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at noon, Peace Garden room of the Memorial Union on the campus of North Dakota State University. Shoot me an email if you need directions.

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Friday, January 29, 2010

Friday Funny: Why miracles have ceased




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Thursday, January 28, 2010

"Think about it" Thursday: Smart Tits

This week's question:

  • What's the intelligent design behind men having nipples?


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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"I've been praying for you."

I've been going through some upheaval in my personal life. It feels like not realizing I'd been walking on train tracks until after the train had already hit me. I've mentioned a bit about my trials and tribulations to a friend, who yesterday told me, "You know, I've been praying for you." He said it with such concern and sincerity that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'm now an atheist.

It wasn't a fear of rejection or judgment; it just seemed like the wrong moment for "coming out," and an abrupt reminder: How long has it been since I've connected with this person, whom I consider to be one of my best friends, that I haven't even told him that I'm an atheist? I've been out of touch and off balance, in more ways than I had realized.

If ever there was a week when I wished prayer actually worked, this last week was it. I'm floundering. I wish there really was a magic holy book that had all the answers. It's scary admitting that you don't know, and that there are no guarantees. I have to find my own way through this, and I might screw it up big time, and it wouldn't be part of some greater plan. It would just be me screwing up.

Stark, naked reality can be a bitch. I have the freedom to soar higher, but also to fall harder. Some days I miss believing that a loving God was overseeing it all, and that everything works out for the best in the end.


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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

TED Talk Tuesday: Lakshmi Pratury on letter-writing

To me, this was more a talk on not taking the people in our lives for granted than on letter-writing specifically, something that's been on my mind recently. Life is so short. Make sure the people you love know that you love them.




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Friday, January 22, 2010

Friday Funny: Good God, Bad God




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Thursday, January 21, 2010

"Think about it" Thursday: How have you replaced prayer?

Every now and then, I still feel the urge to pray, even though I don't believe any divine ear is listening. I've felt it watching the turmoil unfold in Haiti. I sent money, but it doesn't feel like enough. I wish I could do more. I understand the desire to believe that we can call on a higher power to affect change where we ourselves cannot.

Or, sometimes I'll notice myself being meaner and angrier than usual. I don't like those feelings. That's not the kind of person I want to be. When I was religious, I might have prayed to be filled with love for my fellow beings, for help to be kinder and wiser. I'm not sure it ever actually helped. If it did, I would chalk it up to reinforcing the desire to be a better person in my own mind, not to God's grace.

On the flip side, there were plenty of times when prayer felt like I was talking to myself. In fact, I'd say the majority of prayers felt like exercises in futility. But every now and then, I'd feel a faint flicker of something beyond myself. Sometimes I miss that, even if it was just my imagination.

If you used to pray, do you ever miss it? And if so, what do you do instead?


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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

TED Talk Tuesday: Karen Armstrong: Let's Revive the Golden Rule


Regardless of beliefs or lack thereof, this is a movement we can all get behind. I think one of the most important points Karen Armstrong raises is that compassion is not just something you feel; it's something you do. All the empathy and warm fuzzies in the world won't make a difference without action.




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Monday, January 18, 2010

I have a dream.


A front row seat to Dr. King's speech. The internet is about as close as I come to believing in miracles. I get teary-eyed with awe and gratitude for all the information that is so readily available to us. Wow.




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Sunday, January 17, 2010

Adoption and Federal Trials

This was originally posted on the blog This Field Can Be Edited Later, authored by my brother's partner. 


I’ve been following the federal same-sex marriage trial where California’s ban on same-sex marriage is being tested against the United States’ Constitution. This first week of the trial has been devoted to the testimony of the plaintiffs (those in favor of same-sex marriage), and today they had a professor testifying that his research demonstrated that children raised by same-sex couples were just as well adjusted as children raised by opposite-sex couples. He also testified that children of same-sex couples were no more likely to be gay then those of heterosexual parents.

It was however argued by the defense (those opposed to same-sex marriage) that children should be raised by their biological parents (this he demonstrated by the fact that many adopted children often searched out their biological parents), and therefore same-sex couples shouldn’t be allowed to have kids and also shouldn’t be allowed to get married. Not only does the argument not make any sense, but I was outraged by the argument’s very premise. I was so shocked by this argument that I had to read the quote from the defense lawyer from several different news sources before I was willing to believe that it had been made.

What upset me wasn’t that the ability of me and Mike to raise children was called into question, but that the defense lawyer had delegitimized the ability of any parent to raise a child that wasn’t biologically theirs.

For you to understand how upsetting this was for me you have to understand that I am adopted, and to hear this rhetoric from that lawyer was not only an insult to me but it was also an insult to my parents as well as any parent who is selfless enough to adopt a child.

From my perspective, to even suggest that an adoptive parent couldn’t properly raise a child is completely ludicrous. My life has been much improved by the fact that my parents adopted me. It wasn’t long after the time of my adoption, when I was eight years old, that my life felt natural, and that I was simply part of the family that my adopted family had brought together. I was never in want of love from my adopted family for it was given in abundance. My parents cared for me and my younger biological siblings as if we were their own alongside their biological children.

Because I was adopted I was provided with a far more stable family environment, greater opportunity, and a family culture that taught me better social skills. I might not believe in god, but I would definitely call my adoption a blessing.

If it had simply been argued that children need to be raised by both a mother and a father, I would have almost understood; this argument has been made to me before. However, that argument would deny the rights of single parents to raise children and I have known several people who were raised by single parents.

In fact, my best friend growing up had been adopted by a single woman who became his mother, and while his circumstances may not have always been ideal, I can assure you that he was grateful to be part of the family provided by his single adopted mother, and what was most important to him was that he was loved and cared for. I can also assure you that his mother found great fulfillment in raising her family.

These are far from the only examples I can think of. I know many single mothers and fathers, or people raised by single or adoptive parents, and I could not disparage their ability to raise children any more than I could disparage the ability of the defense lawyer’s “ideal” set up. And you know what? I think Mike and I have just as much capability to raise a child as anyone else.



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Saturday, January 16, 2010

"8: The Mormon Proposition" Sells out at Sundance


Wish I could go!






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Friday, January 15, 2010

Help for Haiti, Red River Freethinkers, and some blogger shout outs

I am just heartbroken over the news coming out of Haiti. If you haven't already, I really encourage you to donate to the relief effort. CNN has a list of organizations. Every little bit helps.

For those of you living in my neck of the woods, the Red River Freethinkers are having their monthly meeting this coming Sunday, January 17 from 1-3p.m. at the Plains Art Museum in downtown Fargo. Always a good time.

And I'd like to give a shout out to a few fellow skeptic bloggers I've discovered recently. We've got Bud over at Dead Logic, Tristan at Advocatus Atheist, and Jeremy at Le Café Witteveen. Check 'em out!

I survived the first week of my last semester. If I make it through all my homework, perhaps I'll put up an actual original content post sometime soon. Did I mention it's my last semester?!?!

Happy weekend!


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Friday Funny: Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian

If you don't love "The Onion," I'm not sure we can be friends anymore.

LOUISVILLE, KY—At first glance, high school senior Lucas Faber, 18, seems like any ordinary gay teen. He's a member of his school's swing choir, enjoys shopping at the mall, and has sex with other males his age. But lately, a growing worry has begun to plague this young gay man. A gnawing feeling that, deep down, he may be a fundamentalist, right-wing Christian.



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Thursday, January 14, 2010

"Think about it" Thursday: Life and Death

This week's question:

If there is an afterlife, then what makes murder so very, very wrong?


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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

As if I needed another reason not to like Glenn Beck...

He tells John Stossel that he became a Mormon for the sex.

There's a transcripted excerpt. The link to the full interview has been removed. Not that I would have had the stomach for it anyway.


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TED Talk Tuesday: Vilayanur Ramachandran on the neurons that shaped civilization.

This is a fascinating look at how we developed the ability to share ideas and to empathize with other human beings.


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Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm now a contributor for RecoveringFundamentalists.com

I'm pleased to have been invited to be a contributor for the website RecoveringFundamentalists.com. I hope you'll all check it out. You can also fan them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter.

I start back to school on Wednesday, and will have to cut back on my blogging habit. I'm predicting a sparser posting schedule and increased response times for comments.  *Boo! Hiss!* I know, I'll miss you all too. The good news is, I graduate in May!

As always, thanks for reading.


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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Maybe NonStampCollector can set Bible Live Ministries straight.


Darren, try sending them this:




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Ah, Christian charity

Darren Wong of the blog War for Science attempted to crack open the mind of Mr. Rieske of Bible Life Ministries and received *gasp* a less than charitable response. I know, shocking, right. 

I heard a quote recently that I love: Even when scientists are wrong, creationists still aren't right.

Check out Darren's blog for the full scoop!


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Friday, January 8, 2010

Friday Funny: Ricky Gervais on the Bible and Religion


Fair warning on F-bombs, blasphemy, and hilarity in the following video.



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Thursday, January 7, 2010

"Think about it" Thursday: Life, the Universe, and Chance

Linnea asks:

I've been reading older posts, and am just itching to discuss the probability issues that came up in the comments under Oct. 31's "Why Would He Make That Up?!" Specifically, the idea that Life, the Universe, and Everything are so highly improbable that they couldn't have happened by "chance", and therefore must have been created deliberately.

Would you consider a new thread to discuss this topic specifically?

And my answer is yes, yes I would.  :-)  Have fun!



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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

TED Talk Tuesday: Helen Fisher on Why We Cheat



In light of recent discussions, I thought this would be an interesting talk to watch this week.




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Monday, January 4, 2010

Some people just don't get it.

My de-conversion story is cross-posted on the awesome blog and website Main Street Plaza, where I received the following comment from Jeremy:

The Lord had more faith in you than you had in yourself it seems. You didn't need bells and whistles, angels and heavenly choirs. The evidences were all around you, think back and remember.

The dead end road you're on is easier, I'll grant you that, but it's short and not going anywhere.

I dare you to go to church the very next Sunday after you read this, no excuses, no prior plans, just go one last time and try the experiment one last time. If you can do it with integrity you will have met my burden of proof and then you'll have my blessing.

No excuses, no chickening out. What have you got to lose? A lack of belief?

I promise you that if you go you will know it is true. The Lord knows the end from the beginning and He isn't ever going to give up on you or anyone else. Don't give up on Him.

And my response:

Hi Jeremy, I've been on my road away from the Church for almost five years now, and I can tell you that it's anything but a dead end. I made an honest try at going back. If there is a god, he knows that, and if he would condemn me for refusing to submit to an abusive belief system, then he does not deserve my worship. And also, since many members of my family are still LDS, I have gone to a few church services since leaving and still find no reason to believe in it.

The evidence was all around me? I beg to differ.

I didn't try hard enough? Oh, yes I did.

Have you given "apostasy" an honest try? If you read my story, then you know that I concluded that the Church was false without reading anything "anti-Mormon." But I'm curious, have you read any "anti-Mormon" critiques of the Church, or critiques of religion in general? What do you have to lose? If you lose your faith, it wasn't worth having anyway.

What do I have to lose by going to church? How about time with my family? Contrary to a misconceived belief, we do not get to be with our families forever, and I'd rather spend our Sundays enjoying each other than sitting in meetings.
Mmm, unfettered thought feels so good...


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Sunday, January 3, 2010

Oh my Google! I'm on a list!

Jen over at Blag Hag has compiled A large list of awesome female atheists.  And I'm on it! I'm a teeny tiny bit excited!

And if you haven't already, go vote for the Most Influential Female Atheist of 2009


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On Adultery, Empathy and Ethics

The "Think about it" thread on morality has been running for a while. Now I'm popping in with my two cents.

I've discussed before my own code of ethics: Love is good; hate is bad. Alleviating suffering is good; inflicting it is bad. I came up with these guidelines based on observations of what made me happy and what didn't. This hearkens back to Kriss's comment about the Golden Rule, and while he may have been off on the timeline, the point remains that people knew right from wrong long before religions started cropping up.

I agree with XR4-IT when he said that the concept of being saved by grace alone nulls personal responsibility. No matter how you want to spin it, that is the logical conclusion of the get-out-of-jail-free, believe-accept-saved dogma. Patrik says (and gets Paul to back him up) that Jesus' sacrifice is not a ticket to sin, but why not? Why does a Christian continue to strive to be moral, despite a belief that Jesus will pay the price for his sins anyway? Why do non-Christians strive to be moral, despite not believing in eternal consequences for our wrong actions?

I think Ray hit the nail on the head when he said that empathy is the driving force behind our ethics (and I'm not saying that just because I sleep with him).  moral code is present in all of us whether we're Christian or not, which is why I think Christ and Christianity have nothing to do with it. As I've pointed out, this code varies a great deal depending on our culture and beliefs, and is not measured against any external absolute code. godwillbegod brought up sociopaths and psychopaths. These are people that we recognize as not functioning under the same innate ethical code as the rest of us. What's more likely: that these people are possessed by demons or that something in their genetic code is off?

Now, some thoughts on adultery. I don't think anyone condones it, although I don't think that extra-marital relationships are always wrong, as there are some people who are happy in polyamorous relationships. But in cases where both partners have agreed to monogamy, they should keep that agreement.

I'm fortunate in that I can only imagine the devastation of an unfaithful spouse. Adultery--defined as a polyamorous relationship to which not everyone involved has consented--would fall under the "Inflicting suffering is bad" clause of my personal moral code. But the idea that death was ever a just consequence for it is abhorrent. Patrik says that in a very real way, adultery destroys lives, and I agree. Perhaps you remember, Patrik, at one time I felt that rapists deserved the death penalty, because rape, too, destroys lives. However, that destruction is temporary. Victims of murder do not get any second chances. Death is so final that I have very strong reservations about capital punishment, even for murder.

I'm sure the debate about the origin of our sense of morality will continue for quite some time, in religious and scientific circles alike. However, I think we can safely say that wherever else morality may have come from, it most certainly did not come from the Bible.


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Fixing YouTube in 2010

Just saw this on Hemant's blog, Friendly Atheist. Read, sign, star and pass it on!

When religious fundies go after a YouTube video about science/religion by downvoting it or “flagging” it, the website has done a dismal job of letting the video stay up.

That means it’s remarkably easy to get a video taken down for no reason other than it’s offensive to some religious person. It’s pathetic and YouTube needs to address the issue.

AndromedasWake has a video up explaining the problem and how you can help:


If you have a spare minute and a Google account, go here and star the thread.

And everyone can sign the petition. (I tried it earlier and my signature wasn’t appearing on the list, but it may be working now.)

(Thanks to Leo for the link!)




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Saturday, January 2, 2010

Take the Debunking Christianity Challenge in 2010.


John Loftus has issued a challenge to Christians everywhere. He says:

Do this. I’ll call this the Debunking Christianity challenge. Do what Andrew Atkinson did. He had read up on all of the top Christian apologetics books and then decided in fairness to read all of the top skeptical books. What he found was that the skeptical books ended his faith. They had better arguments.

Come on…what are you afraid of? If your faith can withstand our arguments then you will be a better informed Christian with a much stronger faith. If your faith cannot withstand our arguments then your faith wasn’t worth having in the first place. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!



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A disclaimer

I've been receiving emails from readers along the lines of, "I'm having such and such a problem. I don't know what to do. Can you help me?"

My answer is: I will try.

But I feel like it would be irresponsible not to disclose all of my qualifications to offer advice. So here is my qualification: I am a woman with a blog.

As you may be aware, there is a very rigorous screening process for people who want to write blogs. You must have both:
  1. An internet connection, and 
  2. A pulse.

Mainly what I do here is share my own experience, what I learned, what worked for me. I've heard from several readers that they could relate and that reading about how someone else handled a similar situation helped them. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to get messages like that. It's what gives me the motivation to keep blogging.

All I'm doing is offering my perspective. I think most readers realize this and don't take what I say as the absolute truth, but I wanted to lay it out in plain terms in case there's anyone out there who takes me too seriously.

So in the coming weeks, I'll be attempting to respond to some of these dilemmas and probably sharing some of my responses publicly on the blog. Please do not take what I say as "The Answer." I think I'm a pretty smart person, but I am a music major. I have no expertise in counseling or science or theology. And considering that I'm formulating this advice based on some cursory information left in a comment or email message, you should definitely take everything I say with a grain of salt, and always, always, always think for yourself!


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Friday, January 1, 2010

Vote for the Most Influential Female Atheist of 2009.

Jen over at Blag Hag is conducting a poll to determine who was the most influential female atheist of 2009. Some of the nominees include Greta Christina, Ophelia Benson, Susan Jacoby, Ariane Sherine and Sikivu Hutchinson. Jen also has a write-in space in case your favorite female atheist isn't on the list. So go check it out! And go, women!

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New Hampshire now 5th state to allow same-sex marriage

Yay, New Hampshire! So happy for these couples!

(CNN) -- After 19 years together Linda Murphy and Donna Swartwout tied the knot at 12:01 a.m. Friday, when New Hampshire's law legalizing same-sex marriage took effect.


They were among several couples early Friday who married under a full moon on the steps of the New Hampshire Statehouse in Concord.




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Friday Funny: Atheist Melon


Happy New Year!





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