Saturday, November 7, 2009

Woe is me! How EVER shall I fill the God-shaped hole in my heart???

Today's myth: Atheists are depressed, despondent and hopeless. How could our lives possibly have purpose and meaning without God? We must drift about on a sea of melancholy, lamenting our lack of a divine rudder.

The truth: I can't speak for all atheists, but for me it's true that once I couldn't believe anymore, I did mourn the loss of God for a while. He was the dominant character in my life for 20+ years. Even if the relationship hadn't been entirely healthy, it was still hard to let go of that familiarity. But I've moved on.

And I'm happier now than I ever was when I believed in God. I'm sure there are some atheists who suffer from depression, but I've yet to meet any. I have, however, known many people of faith who were depressed, myself among them for most of my late teens and early twenties. And I find it very interesting that the state of Utah--whose populace is largely made up of people who claim to be following the only path to true happiness--tops the nation in depression rates.

It's true that I don't believe that my life has any predetermined purpose, but I have defined my own. My purpose is to enjoy my life and to do what I can to help others to do the same. That's why I don't steal or vandalize or perpetrate violence. That's why I speak out about my views so that those who are miserable in religion and feel trapped know that they can get out. 

And I have hope because every day I see more people waking up and relinquishing the fantasies.

Where do I find meaning? I have a spouse. Conversing with him, planning our future together, creating a bond together gives my life meaning. I have two children. Watching them learn and grow gives me joy. Wanting to make the world a better place for them to live gives me purpose. And I can tell you for damned sure that a mother's love has nothing to do with a mother's belief or non-belief in God.

I love music. I love to sing. I love nature. I love to run. I love to read. I love yoga. I love food. And I definitely love coffee more than I ever loved God.

What's not to be happy about?! My life is full, and more importantly, my life is my own. I'm under no obligation to fulfill some divine destiny. No one is looking over my shoulder or whispering in my thoughts. What a relief to realize there's no god! I'm free from the guilt of not living up to someone else's absurd, arbitrary and impossible expectations. 

I don't miss God. I'm too busy reveling in everything around me that actually exists.


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11 comments:

  1. I still don't understand why life has to be dreary if it doesn't have meaning or an afterlife. For me the point of life is to experience all there is to experience and have fun while you're doing it. It's very liberating to think that a choice that I make is completely pointless and has no eternal consequence. All I know is that I enjoy doing it so who cares. If I happen to be wrong about the afterlife well then I'll just worry about that when I'm dead.

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  2. I fear I am an atheist who suffers from depression. Religion definitely aggravated the problem, but the world can be hard to live in all on its own without the help of a condemning group of people you're supposed to fit in with.

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  3. Ray likes to say, "I live my life as though this is all we get, and when I die, I hope I'm pleasantly surprised."

    Arual, sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression. Are you finding ways to cope? I know you don't actually know me, but you're welcome to email me if you ever need an ear.

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  4. This has been one of those ideas percolating in the back of my mind as well, and it's nice to see it so well put. While I have plenty of burdens and mood swings, its a relief not to have the added paranoia of an imagined omnipotent spy looking over my shoulder all the time. My atheism has given me room to be a more confident person, at peace with the surrounding joys of the world.

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  5. If you were a Morman (a cult) I can see why you exited the religion, but why on earth would you ditch the Father altogether? The proverbial 'whore' is referring to Catholicism.

    http://mountain-meadows-massacre.blogspot.com/

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  6. I ditched "the Father" because he doesn't exist. It wasn't a conclusion I came to overnight. I sincerely tried for a very long time to believe in something. Mormonism is no more a cult than any other religion. (See my post "Why would he make that up?!" for more on this.)

    And there are various interpretations and speculations as to what "the whore" refers to.

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  7. The word cult has many definitions. I would say that if Christianity is to be labeled a cult one of the following definitions would apply:

    - a particular system of religious worship, esp. with reference to its rites and ceremonies.
    - a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc.

    However, I think that when the word cult is applied to mormonism the appropriate definition is:

    - a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.

    And you cannot say that God (I use this name because the mormon name 'Heavenly Father' has a completely different meaning than the Biblical sense of God as 'The Father') does not exist with absolute certainty. Would you agree?

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  8. I agree that no one can say with absolute certainty that God doesn't exist, the same as one can't say with absolute certainty that the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't exist, or that you aren't being followed around everywhere by incorporeal, inaudible, invisible pink unicorns, or that there isn't a tiny pea-sized teapot orbiting Pluto. Yet I'm sure you would have no reservations about saying—with a fair amount of certainty—that none of those things exist.

    No one can state the non-existence of anything with absolute certainty, but where there is no physical evidence to support the existence of something it's safe enough to say it doesn't exist. There are an infinite number of things that could possibly exist, but just because something COULD exist is no reason to believe that it DOES exist, unless we have a significant body of evidence to support its existence. Would you agree?

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  9. If you were a Morman (a cult) I can see why you exited the religion, but why on earth would you ditch the Father altogether? The proverbial 'whore' is referring to Catholicism.

    http://mountain-meadows-massacre.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  10. I fear I am an atheist who suffers from depression. Religion definitely aggravated the problem, but the world can be hard to live in all on its own without the help of a condemning group of people you're supposed to fit in with.

    ReplyDelete

Religion, skepticism, and carving out a spiritual life post-Mormonism